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Today’s dirty word is…
Jessa Woods has made it her career to educate others about sexual health. Whether it’s simple techniques, exploring sexuality, or spicing up relationships, her radio show, Dirty Words, is a local go-to for all things sexy.
Her personal life, however, isn’t so hot. With a jam-packed schedule and her work first and foremost on her mind, Jessa has little time to date, and her best friend, Jen, fears she’s become cynical.
When Jen slips her iPad full of steamy romance novels in Jessa’s bag before her big trip to a radio show festival, Jessa is less than impressed. However, after scanning a few titles and really looking at what these books have to offer, she realizes she may have been too quick to judge. After all, what’s the harm in examining some of these tropes?
Enter Dylan Masters, the always sexy radio engineer, who offers to explore them with her. Jessa’s always had a thing for Dylan, but she’d never cross that line with a coworker, and more importantly, a friend.
Well, except for that one time at the company Christmas party…
When Dylan proposes a weekend of hot, no expectations sex, Jessa’s determined to take the advice she so often gives and let loose. But she soon realizes their time together could end in total disaster.
“Your royal trinkets, my queen.”
Jessa smiled up at Dylan as he held out a huge box of vibrating cock rings. Any tension between them from earlier in the day was long gone, replaced by the vibrant energy of the meet and greet. Radio and podcast hosts lined the stage taking pictures and signing autographs for the crowd in front of them. “I feel like a rock star,” she yelled to Dylan.
He leaned down until his lips almost touched her ear, the warmth of his breath sending delightful tingles down the side of her neck, “You are a rock star.”
Jessa turned back to the crowd and let it sink in. There were plenty calling out her name and the show, hands in the air waving at her and the crew. The last thing she wanted to do was disappoint.
She took the box from Dylan and began walking up and down the stage, throwing plastic wrapped cock rings into the crowd. “You get an orgasm! You get an orgasm! Everyone gets an orgasm!”
The guests laughed and grabbed for the airborne sex toys, then jumped up and down if they managed to snag one.
She dished out the rest of her sexy goodies, then took her seat at the long table with the rest of the hosts. Individual mics had been placed in the middle of the stage in a sort of panel setup, and for the next hour or so they were going to take questions from the audience, as well as let them know what they can expect from their time at the festival. They’d get introduced and then have a few minutes to interact.
Each show had been assigned a two hour slot on a certain day of the festival to promote their work and do a live show. Dirty Words was, naturally, set for Saturday. Right smack dab in the middle. Jessa feared people would be set to go at the beginning of the festival, maybe the end, but the very middle? She feared attendance would suffer. She needed to be an undeniable force. An energy. She needed to show them tonight that they needed to come back on Saturday afternoon to see what she had to say. This chance, this moment, was important and she needed to grab it by the balls and ride the hell out of it. Wow, slow down there, girl. Jeez.
Jessa waited until the man in charge called her name and the title of the show, then smiled and waved to the applause. She leaned forward and spoke into her microphone, doing her best to sound cool, calm, and collected. “Hey, hey, hey! How about those cock rings?”
The audience roared with applause and laughter, and Jessa giggled right along with them.
“I hope y’all are having some fun tonight!” She looked out at the joyful faces before her, and her heart swelled. This is what she did, and this is why she did it. “Tonight’s dirty words were going to be sex toys…” she paused and let the whoops and hollers die down a bit, “but I decided to change it at the last minute. So, tonight’s dirty words…are…romance books.” The crowd broke out into wild applause and whistles, and Jessa couldn’t help but laugh along. “So I take it I have some romance book fans in here? Raise your hands, I want to see you!”
Hands flew up from all over, mostly women but, surprisingly, a lot of men, too. Some of the women were taking books and electronic reading devices out of their bags and holding them in the air as proof of their devotion.
“Okay, so here’s the deal. I am not a fan of romance books. I know, I know. I’m sorry.” Jessa giggled and held her hands up in defense. “However, my best friend lent me her iPad and I was looking through them today, and I was a little surprised. I assumed they all fit into one category, but after checking them out, I see I was terribly wrong. So…I did a little research, and now I’m more confused than ever. What is going on with these tropes? Seriously, tell me! I’m dying to know. The alpha male,” she held up her fingers and made quotations marks as the audience laughed, “I mean that’s just a nice way of saying he’s an asshole, right?”
“No!” the crowd yelled back.
“No? Okay, I’ll take your word for it. But come on, billionaires and virgins and stepsiblings, although to be fair I did go to the movies with my stepbrother a few months back and it was pretty fucking fabulous. He even paid for the popcorn and everything, so maybe there’s something to that one.” She paused and made an exaggerated shocked face as a few of the ladies in the front jokingly booed. “Ladies, ladies, ladies…is this what you want? Some unfiltered caveman? Gentlemen, is this the world we’re in? She’s only good enough if she’s your stepdaughter or secretary and has a nice, fresh, twenty-five year old virgin pussy? And don’t even get me started on the one woman with ten men. I mean that sounds like the world’s worst UTI just waiting to happen. And it’d also be sticky as fuck, you know?”
“Fantasy!” someone yelled out.
“You, the girl with the green glasses. Go to the microphone and tell me what you just said.”
The young girl in question sheepishly made her way through the crowd to the front, not even having to bend to get to the mic. “Hi. Um…it’s about fantasy. The books are a way to disappear into another world where, no matter what’s going on, you’re the most desirable one on the planet. For one reason or another.” The audience clapped and hollered in response to her statement, and her cheeks turned a bright shade of red.
Jessa nodded and leaned forward, the words she said next completely sincere. “You explained it perfectly. Thank you. And you know what, you’re right. Obviously I was being a little tongue in cheek there about everything, but you’re absolutely correct. There’s something real in there, right? Something we crave on a very raw, base level. I don’t understand it right now, but I’d like to. So, in the hopes of completely screwing with all my crew’s heads, I’m going to totally scrap what I’d planned to do this weekend. Instead, I’m going to attack a few of these tropes and see what’s up. My wonderful friend, Dylan, raise your hand, Dylan.” She waited as he stood and waved to the crowd, not missing the way most of the women’s eyes roamed his body like hungry foxes. “He’s going to have pencil and paper, and I want you to write down your favorite trope. I’ll pick one and research it myself, and I’ll get back to you Saturday with my findings. Man…can I just say how much I love my fucking job?”